How to Take Care of Yourself in 2019

Dear reader,

I pen this blog post in anticipation of the new year to come. The next term to come. The excitement, the stress, the tears, the assignments: all of it.

I’m writing this as a somewhat personal account, however I feel that we could all do with hearing this from time to time, as students, sure, but as human beings moreover.

The New Year rolls around and suddenly everyone is rife with resolutions, regrets from the year passed, and hopes for the future. For me, my resolution is simply to be kind to myself. My first year at Durham taught me a lot: did Neanderthals possess the capability to think symbolically? How can we tell a hill fort from an oppidum? What is the Neolithic Package?

Some of these questions come with straightforward answers. However, the most important thing I learned is about as difficult as writing a 3000-word essay at 12am the night before the deadline (something I have thankfully never done). I learned that no matter how hard I try, or whatever stress I put myself through, I’m not always going to be the best. And that’s absolutely fine.

From infancy, through to high school, over to A Levels, and now to my dream university, I’ve had the basic instinct to want to grab the golden ring at the top of the tower. I’ve always wanted to do my best, because my best was the best. I was the kid who’d be gutted with an A rather than an A*. That seemed all well and good to me, I thought “the anxiety I feel clearly makes me do well, so what’s the harm in having it?”. And what is the harm?

Well, the harm is when you don’t do as well as you thought, and you end up with a 2:1 and not a first, and you feel ridiculously inadequate. It’s like a big alarm flashing in your brain: IMPOSTOR SYNDROME! Everything in me told me I was the problem, and didn’t even stop to rationalise the issue: the essay was difficult; I wasn’t inadequate.

Today, I write to you all not to be the slightly irritating ‘disappointed with a perfectly good grade’ type, but to inform you that you don’t have to be the best at absolutely everything. Academia does not define your life. You are worth so much more than a grade on TurnItIn. And sure, most of you probably know this already, but if you’re like me (an awkward, perfectionist overachiever) this is something you need to hear- because it’s something I needed to hear. As a course rep for second year BA Archaeologists, I am glad to be involved in something that can bring student matters to light, especially those concerning stress and mental health.

So, going into 2019 I’ve made a few resolutions…write in your diary more, eat less meat, reach out to that friend you haven’t seen in a while. But the most important one I’ve made by far is clear: it’s better to be a happy, healthy person with 68% than a miserable ball of anxiety with 75%.

Good luck and good health to you all. Please be kind to each other, and moreover to yourselves.

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If anyone would like to reach out to me to discuss any student matters that can be brought to the SSCC, please email me at amie.kirby@durham.ac.uk

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